I Hate Dial-Up

*the title of this blog explains what I have been doing for the past hour... I typed the blog on Claudia's computer, thinking that I would at least be able to slip in one blog while in the Catlins, but this has been a nightmare. No more blogging/internet until we depart!*

Hello, hello. I’m finding it a lot more difficult to blog now that I have a travel companion… Claudia and I are having a wonderful time together—even when asked to dig for oil in the Australian outback!
It’s been a bit of a culture shock being thrust back into English speaking countries, but I guess I’m being eased back into the idea of returning home. Having spent so much time in Asia where the customs are so incredibly different, it was strange to arrive in Australia where most of the blokes actually speak my language—even if they do abbreviate every other word (my favorite is brekky for breakfast or mozzy for mosquito). At least we spent the majority of our time with Australian Aboriginals who had their own language, so I was still being introduced to a new culture. Now we are in New Zealand and we are back in familiar territory culture-wise, but I must admit this is one of the most beautiful countries I have yet to encounter. The rolling hills and greenery are amazing!
We have been in New Zealand now for a week and had many adventures along the way. We arrived in Auckland on the north island and had our first free day scheduled the next day. We made grand plans to do a little shopping and then check out the underground aquarium. Unfortunately, we both spent the day grogging about hung-over… The previous night we had a delightful dinner accompanied by two bottles of wine (not unusual for the Padens) and were looking for a bar to hit up as we made our way back to our hotel. We stumbled upon a group of native Hawaiians who were staying in our hotel (they were here doing a sort of learning exchange with the northern Maoris) and they were also looking for a place to get a drink. They suggested taking us to a casino and the combination of two bottles of wine and never having been to a casino before made it sound like a delightful idea. Claudia and I did little gambling, and the gambling we did do simply lost our new friends’ money. However we enjoyed the drinks and the laughs and our new found friends. I believe the night ended somewhere around 4am for us, which did not bode well for the next day… I guess one could argue it’s quite impressive that I’ve made it this far without taking a day off to shake off a hangover…
The following day was much more eventful. We were picked up early in the morning and driven a few hours south to Waitomo where we embarked on our “Black Abyss” adventure—Claudia and I had been looking forward to this from the moment we starting planning our trip. The adventure revolved around a glowworm cave. Glowworms! Little worms that glow in the dark! However, this was not just stumbling into a cave, taking a look at the glowworms and exiting. This was a full-on wear-a-harness adventure. We were decked out in the most ridiculous gear—wet suits, harnesses, gumboots and helmets that had little lights on the front. In order to enter the cave, we had to repel down through a tiny little hole in the ground to an unknown depth (thus the “Black Abyss”) and then we had to stumble along in the dark for a while until we came upon some crazy contraption. I was leading the way and our guide made us all turn out our lights and then fastened something to my harness and said, “Now jump!” She had attached me to a zip-line, which I zoomed down having no idea where I was headed or when it would stop—in the pitch black! Finally, we all had our turn traveling down the zip-line and were then all handed a big black inner tube. We were standing about thirty feet over the water at this time and they told us we had to jump into the water and land on our inner tubes. I have been cliff jumping, but never have I cliff jumped with a huge inner tube into freezing cold water in a dark cave. It hurts your bum! Our guide had to countdown more than once to get Claudia to jump. Finally, we were all in the freezing cold water and got to float through the cave with our lights off and enjoy the beautiful worms. Claudia and I are still arguing over whether their glow was blue or green—I say green. Apparently, the glow is actually their poop that is mixed with chemicals to attract other insects to them so they can eat them. They are also not worms, but maggots waiting to turn into flies that don’t have mouths so they die after three lovely days of flight and fornication. After a lovely bought of riding on our tubes we then had to swim through the freezing cold water and wiggle our way through tiny places to get to the larger maze-like part of the cave. Here we were able to get out of the water for a while and wiggle through other small places until we came upon some pretty large waterfalls. To get out of the cave we had to climb up the waterfalls! I thought it was a joke at first. It wasn’t. We managed to climb up two waterfalls that looked like you would die if you attempted to climb them (again, I was the first to attempt the endeavor) before there was a tiny sign of light. Finally, we emerged through a tiny hole and there was day again. We survived after five intense hours in a freezing black cave.
The day was not over yet! We then went to check into our hotel, which, again, was one of the things most looked forward to by both Claudia and myself. We stayed in a hotel room that was a replica of a hobbit home!!! It was built into the side of a hill and had round windows and a round door and was just wonderful. We were a bit disappointed by the fact that there was not any hobbit paraphernalia in the hotel room (I was hoping there would be costumes involved), but the hairy black pig that was grazing on our roof made up for it.
The following day we drove farther south to Roturua, stopping along the way to hike through The Bog of Eternal Stench. It was a bit of a rainy day, but we really wanted to see the bubbling mud and geysers, so we embarked on the journey regardless of the weather. I was smart enough to accept an umbrella before leaving—Claudia was not. We sloshed through the rain and were bowled over by the rotten egg smell of the sulfur caves and mud holes. There were beautiful colors in the ponds created by all of the different sediments deposited by the hot springs and they kind of settled around the springs in a rainbow fashion. Many of the bubbling springs were florescent yellowy-green from the sulfur. Finally, our favorite part was the many bubbling mud pit that showed us where the inspiration for The Bog of Eternal Stench (from the movie The Labyrinth for any freaks who haven’t seen it) came from. The mud literally pooted up and splattered all over the place and it was impossible to not hold your nose. Stink, stink, stink! After this hike, we stopped at one last mud pit where I did a little filming action on my new camera while soggy Claudia waited in the car.
We finally arrived at our hotel and barely had any time to dry off before we set off for our Maori dinner and show. We were treated to a traditional Maori ground cooked meal with a traditional dance show beforehand. After supper, we embarked on a little nature walk, which ended in a closed-in sanctuary where we got to see kiwi birds!! They are the funniest birds ever. They don’t even have wings! They’ve got a long skinny beak and hop around in a very odd way and they’re wonderful.
The next day simply involved a long transfer from the north island to the south island, which I won’t bore you with.
We spent one day in Dunedin and went on what we thought was going to be an animal tour, but ended up being more of a bird-watching tour, and that’s not our cup of tea—unless, of course, you’re speaking of emus, kiwis or penguins. The highlight of the early afternoon was when we were stuck in a bird-watching tower with a stuffy British guide looking at the giant albatross (they look just like seagulls) sitting on their eggs and hoping to catch a glimpse of an albatross in flight. While we were waiting, an albatross flew into sight and the stuffy British woman yelled “ALBATROSSSSSS!” at the top of her lungs, after having lectured us all on being quiet while in the observatory. Claudia and I did not care about the sighting so much as the ridiculously excited outburst from this old fart. If anyone was in my environmental science class in high school, think of Mr. McLean shouting “BAAALLLD EAAAGLLLLLE!” on the back fifteen, and you’ll understand how funny this was. After a long day of boring birds, we DID get to see penguins. The rare yellow-eyed penguin lives in New Zealand and we were taken on a tour through weird tunnels that have been created throughout a penguin colony to allow tourists to check out the penguins without actually invading their territory. They waddle!
In Dunedin, Claudia and I were staying in a hotel that was way too fancy for us (Prince Charles has stayed there before) and we drank too much wine with our stuffy supper both nights and tried so hard to get the young waiter to at least laugh at us while we dined to no avail.
Now we are in a cozy little village where only twenty people live doing some environmental volunteering, but I will wait until the experience is over to write about it.

Love to all!